UCLA Signs

Some signs around UCLA.

Is that a parking bumper in front?  For where the Chancellor parks his Humvee as he drives around campus?

Fill in the blank.  I'm guessing "4"!

Or perhaps the right answer is "brick"!

Instruction manuals are needed because people think the solid red palm means there's a fortune teller nearby.

2012 College of the Canyons

Another series of shots from College of the Canyons.

Pool.  Enough said.  But lots of concrete available to say it upon.

Every which way.  Do you get the feeling the building and the sign designer share genetic material?

If you see it, better run.
Yeah 'cause if you hit that corner, it is gonna hurt.
It's very shy, this corner.
Don't touch.  It's incredibly sharp.

Looks more like a fire wall than a fire lane.

Miami Beach Signs II: Signs of the Beach

Beach and Near Beach Signage.  Or should I say Miami Beach Beach Signage? 

When I took this photo, purple and green flags were flying.  Low hazard, and dangerous marine life are indicated.  Sharks, but not horrible sharks?  Or maybe jellyfish, but you could eat them before they could eat you?  Slow moving salt water crocodiles?  A close up of the Rip Currents instruction manual is given below. 

That's not all you can't do while on the dunes.  No walking on through around or by the dunes, except on the designated walk ways.  

I understand diving is really hazardous here.  

Oh rats.  

Lets see, no fun, no entertainment, no man's best friend, no boozing it up, no imbibing anything non-alcoholic in a glass bottle, no wine glasses.  And no unauthorized vending of wine from a skateboard!  Please move all vending machines away from the boardwalk.  Now about that animal ban:  "You're under arrest".  "But officer, it's not my seagull!" 

No feeding of that animal that you're not allowed to bring.  

I love these instruction manuals.  Need these in all places that have rip currents especially.  And watch for those underwater obstructions.  You know, that dead manatee that sank after no one was allowed to feed it.  And a web site to visit back in your hotel room, assuming of course that you avoided the rip current on your current (hah hah, pun intended) visit.  All joking aside however, there are lots of these rip tides (undertow appears to be another name for the same phenomenon) -- and the impression I get from scanning the web site is that they can form and disappear and that one person can get caught and someone right next to them in the ocean might not even notice the rip tide.  Some folks have even been dragged out even from a position standing on the bottom or even from as little as about 3 yards out.  So do read the sign and follow the instructions if you get caught. 

Parking Signs of Miami Beach

Another in our Signs of the Times posts.  This from Miami Beach. 

Miami Beach came with lots and lots of instructions and we've got signs and signs to share with you.  This first post covers Miami Beach parking instructions.  My my.  So many cars, so few parking spots, and so so many instructions.

A parking inspector gadget for paying for street parking.  If you can find a parking spot, this gadget will let you pay for it.  Notice how much fine print there is, how many details?  Is this really consonant with the claim of 1-2-3 Park?  How long till the marks figure out to damage the solar panel on all the machines, and then no one can buy a parking permit? And put the parking ticket in your windshield, where the Miami Beach heat will wilt it till the printing is invisible. 

And here's the street signage telling you to find the parking inspector gadget.  

A model of clarity.  Clearly this belongs in the parking signage hall of fame.  It appears residents can park here, even though it is a tow-away zone?  But residents only?  Or residents only from 6pm to 7am?  And from 7am to 6pm on Sun through Friday, is it no parking at all or can anyone park here?  Or only cars that wish to be towed away?  And nothing like multiple instructions for Sunday.  Dumpster?  What dumpster? 

Sweet.  Boot my car, and still the customers won't be able to park here.  And if I buy dinner, will you unboot me? 

No spell checkers allowed. 

Let's see.  No parking, tow zone, private property, closed circuit TV.  Wonder what's on? 

Another PhD required to comprehend this sign.  Let's see: tow away zone but not if disabled permit?, reserved parking for Haddon Hall, and Van ok with disabled permit. 

And where am I supposed to park if the Valet is parking here?  Don't those guys take mass transit anyway? 

Clear enough.  I guess the solar powered gadget hasn't been installed here yet. 

A personal favorite.  This picture is to give you an idea of the surround.  The next picture gives you details of what the sign says. 

I had to wait for the wind to blow most of the leaves away so I could even get this much of the sign. 

Is that a singular mopeds and a plural bicycle?  Everyone else is being towed by Beach Towing.  How about here?  Or maybe they'll boot me. 

These last four signs are instructions for using this parking structure.  Parking in Miami Beach is an incredibly complex activity, requiring months of study before you dare to leave your car alone in one of these structures.  And nobody over 6 feet 8 inches.  Yao Ming will have to duck. 

No motorcycles or scooters.  And what if I want to park my motorcycle in out of the rain?  That's sheer prejudice.  Entry is always prohibited except for three activities.  Makes it easy, just don't breathe!

Why is there a monthly rate if its 24 hour parking only?  Or is 24 hour parking referring to how much you're allowed in any one day?  Anyone parking here 28 hours in one day is in violation of the rules.  Daily rates are not cheap.  Better to buy the monthly rate if you plan to visit all day every Saturday. 

Another manual explaining with pictures how to operate the facility.  Approach the solar powered parking ticket machine.  Go sailing on the water.  (Or perhaps that's a metaphor for the pleasure you will receive from interacting with the machine.) Return to the parking ticket machine.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Hopefully once you pay on foot, the fact that it takes an hour or three to get your car out, they still let you exit the structure.  Perhaps one should go at intermission and pay the parking fee, then go back to your show, and exit the structure later? 

Signs from Porto and Northern Portugal

Another in our popular series on signs of the times.  These signs come from Porto and the north of Portugal. 

Imperial McDonalds.  No kidding.  Letting Portugal know who's boss. 

This car of the train is for (i) Handicapped folk, (2) People with baby carriages and (iii) People with surfboards.  I've always put those three classes of people together.  

Sadly, the World of Music Megastore closed.  

This is the high water mark set in 1909 in Chaves.  The next photo gives a little perspective.  

That's the bridge and your friendly neighborhood photographer shadows.  We saw a picture of the bridge earlier.  The water line is visible at the bottom.  Someone's house got wet that year. 

Water fit for human consumption.  

Old school street.  

A personal favorite.  Watch out for old couples walking along the road and him with a cane.  This particular sign was out in the middle of nowhere. 

Another warning: Beware of centaur shooting arrow. 

Athens Odds and Signs

Offbeat items and signs I came across. 

Chairs on the street stacked and ready for setup. 

This in front of stairs to climb up a rock.  It was indeed slippery.  After several millenia of people traipsing across the rock and up the stairs, the entire surface was quite smooth.  No surprising it was very slippery even in the absence of water.  

Enough said.  I guess Freud would argue that swords are indeed male.  

Graffiti and a list of banned items.  I carried my own water; I didn't see food; I don't recall seeing a dog.  Why someone would carry a suitcase all the way up baffles me, though families with strollers and kids had the equivalent of several suitcases.  And several cars did drive along this stretch of roadway.  It closed a touch early for my taste.  I would have enjoyed a trip up in the early evening.  

Prickly and unattractive little beast.  But this is what you have to do if you don't want pigeons pooping all over your ductwork. 

Its a Sign, Lisboa

Signs of the season.

Attention, mind your head and the ceiling will take care of itself.  Torre de Belem sign. 

My favorite pothole.  Warning car drivers that bicyclists will indeed try to run into or possibly under them.  Poor, poor car drivers. 

Not the world's greatest sign, but it does come with a story.  Last time I was here taking a picture of this self-same McDonald's, the manager runs out and tells me that I must not take pictures! No no no!  Presumably attempting to keep the world's at the time largest fast food chain safe from industrial espionage.  

No bathing.  Could be dangerous to your health.  They probably use recycled water.  Of course, what did I see a block or too on, but some woman encouraging her kids to jump in the water.  

They call me "Mr. Fish".   We did have an enjoyable fish here, though the price easily outstripped every other meal we ate in Portugal, almost by a factor of two.  The sides were ok, nothing great, but the fish was indeed something from heaven. 

Excellent science museum CaFe sign.  My personal award for best sign!